BlueJay

cooffeshop-blueI’m quite a nature person–I like to literally hug trees in my free time–but in this post I won’t be referring to actual Blue Jays, the bird. But the bird is crucial for this metaphor. Blue Jays are stunning (in my opinion) due to their bright color. Blue Jays are competitive, and can become really aggressive with other birds. My metaphor of a Blue Jay applies to people with similar traits with the actual bird. A “Blue Jay” is confident, sometimes egotistic, competitive, stubborn at times, and in some explainable bizarre way: stunning. You might have (or currently) known a “Blue Jay” before. Someone that annoys you in almost every way possible, but can’t seem to escape from. Well I know a Blue Jay. I write thinking specifically writing about that person. And if they read my words, they would automatically know I’m referring to them. Well, to him.

I met this Blue Jay in elementary school, we were actually friends. Well, as close as a boy and girl that believed in cooties could be friends. Even at that young age Blue Jay teased me. But I guess I bothered him too. It’s a common concept that when two young people annoy or bother another it’s a sign of mutual attraction–some strongly agree, others disagree, and a few sit in the middle saying it depends. Based on personal experience, I typically agree with the belief. But after that year (it was probably around 2nd grade) we didn’t really see each other again. We went to the same middle and high school but I don’t remember ever seeing him in the hall ways before this year. However, in a summer volunteer program, we crossed paths again. We didn’t really talk directly to each other during the first few days, but in a group of 10 people that meet practically every day of the week for the half of each day, it’s inevitable that you’re going to have at least one conversation. Blue Jay is that kid who has to comment on everything, and takes every opportunity possible to trash talk (there were a lot of contests).

After a few days we were partnered up for the first time. I’m not exactly shy–anymore–but I don’t talk excessively when I’m with someone new. We discussed the trivia questions together, occasionally quietly explaining why a option was correct, before deciding what to answer. He got distracted easily, while I’m one to easily focus. He noted my backpack and commented that he had a similar one in the same color, but by a different brand. Although I  was sightly curious why he thought that was necessary, I took the opportunity for some small talk. “Cool… You should bring it some time. We’ll be twining.” I said before glancing back at the screen with the jeopardy questions. I could sense him starring for a few seconds, and he hesitated before responding some kind of agreement. What stands out to me was that he hesitated. I know it seems like I’m looking into every little detail, but if you know a true Blue Jay you know they rarely hesitate at anything. Everything is spontaneous and said before thought through. At least that’s what it appears like, I don’t consider myself a Blue Jay so I guess I can’t truly know unless I asked. But based on my observations, it’s mostly all impulse. I noticed a few other times Blue Jay starring but I thought little of it. ‘He’s probably looking at something behind me, or spacing out’. Blue Jay one day offered to hold my backpack when we went outside for class. He took a candid but actually funny picture of me and asked for my snapchat so that he could send it to me.

After that we regularly “snapped” (not enough for a streak though) and it all lead to one night at 2 am where the conversation led somewhere unexpected and foreign for me. He wanted to kiss me. There should have been a flashing red sign blinding me, screaming “NO.NO.NO.” I should have realized instantly that this wasn’t the best start for the type of serious relationship I want to have…I mean it’s 2 am and we’ve haven’t ever seen each other without a backpack on. So I went a bit over my head thinking I knew how to handle the situation. I  replied that we should hang out then. I’ll admit I’m a innocent person. I’m that person who’s always positive that it can be annoying, who talks about cats and unicorns and Santa clause; I live in over sized sweaters, and sometimes depend on urban dictionary when I’m with a few of my friends. Anyways, we planned to go out soon and I immediately realized how uncomfortable I was with Blue Jay the second our plan was concrete. So after an extremely confusing conversation, I canceled our plans. However, the day took a good turn when me and my sister spontaneously drove to the beach, as an temporary escape from reality. But I should mention I’m sometimes kind of tough on people…I give everyone first chances but even the tiniest, partial mistake you make of annoying or making me uncomfortable in anyway (even if it completely unintentional) , I’m suddenly the Grinch and you’re Christmas. It’s partially a subconscious thing that I really try to control as much as possible. But it happens. You have to make some grand gesture to grow my heart sizes (sorry cheesy reference).

Anyways, to wrap up my overly commented story, he asked me out several more times after that. I made up excuses each time (I know it was bad, I really should have been straightforward.) In my defense they were all pretty weak and obvious.But I just realized how I didn’t even begin to describe how annoying, rude, self-centered, childish, flirtatious, complex, he can be. And once again, childish. I’m at the start of a rant, probably further, so I’m going to stop here.

I’m skipping some details, but you have a good view of the situation. Blue Jays can be really confusing. And sometimes they make you question whether they even really like you or are genuinely interested in you at all. And a part of you (mostly like the unconscious part) might just enjoy their attention. And chances are that your Blue Jay is a part of the general popular group at school. That tends to complicate everything 10 times more if you’re far from that group and are (95%, maybe not always a 100%) glad to be.

I might go back and take out some specifics and shorten my entry. I guess I did kinda go on a rant, but please if you have any advice or similar story please share. Some of  them try not to tell me what to do and ask me questions to realize what I want. And then I have that awesome friend I have known my whole life that straight out slaps me with the facts and is practically ready to make us matching t-shirts saying “hell no, boi bye”.

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